The V8 Safety Car Series

I know no one else is even vaguely interested in motor sport, that’s why I spend so many lonely afternoons with only Neil Crompton as my friend, but Bathurst was on yesterday and it was good. So now I’m telling you about it.

After sitting on the couch for the better part of 8 hours I wished I had arranged a driver change of my own, but my patience and dedication (and the brief mid-afternoon nap, I only missed a couple of laps, I swear) was rewarded. Craig Lowndes and Jamie Whincup* won a race where everything went wrong for just about everyone. There a total of 10 safety car periods in the race, which means there are a lot of smashed cars and a lot of bruised drivers getting around today but everyone seems to have got away relatively unscathed.

The good thing about safety car periods, apart from the obvious safety benefits, is that it allows the viewer to take a much needed break from what is otherwise an epic journey on the couch. I did the washing… I’ll tell you about it another time, it was great, there were whites, there were colours…

The safety car also allowed me to regale my younger brother with enthralling tales of oil overflow leaks, drive through penalties, pit lane injuries and importantly for this race, clutch slip. And it gives the wonderful Neil Crompton and the rest of the commentary team the opportunity to teach me stuff about cars I never thought I’d know.

I watch and listen to a lot of sport which means I know a thing or two** about commentating. And I am willing to say here and now, Crompton is the best I have ever heard. (Yes, better than Gerard.)

I’m sure he would be completely useless commentating on anything else, but for V8 Supercars he is fabulous. He pitches his commentary at just the right level to keep the novices informed and the diehards interested. It really is an art. And he is genuinely good mates with the drivers (being an ex-driver himself), which means that there is an easy comradery when he interviews them, particularly while they are driving. He gets the drivers talking in real sentences rather than platitudes and deftly navigates the space between interviewer and friend so that both the TV audience and the drivers are happy. In summary, Neil Crompton is ace and if I could think up a good trophy name I would give him one.


So, what’s next on the sporting calendar?...


* This is the second silliest name in V8 racing. The silliest is Winterbottom.
**Thing 1) Gary Lyon and James Brayshaw should not be allowed in the same room together, Thing 2) understatement is actually an artform.