Up where?

Sport and LIterature

2009-08-24T11:35:00.002+10:00

I have been thinking for a while now about the lack of good writing about sport in Australia, and because of my own personal interest, football in particular.

I don't mean sports reporting, or opinion, but the bigger picture stuff, the literary stuff that has a shelf life of longer than 24 hours.

Melbourne is meant be a city of literature and books or some such, yet in the currently occurring Melbourne Writers festival there was only one event that discussed sport, and it was a comedy debate. Don’t get me wrong, it was an enjoyable event, but why don’t Melbourne writers take football more seriously (or less seriously) as an area of consideration?

This has coincided with me reading an article about Jews and baseball in America.* The author offers a litany of authors, books, plays, and songs written by Jews about baseball, but remarks upon how few have become elite players, and the generational struggle that played out over baseball - the second generation trying to assert their ‘americanness’ with the game.

The author argues that it was partly because they were immigrants that they wrote about the game. It was through trying to understand the nation that they came to write about their own experiences as a new citizen and that led to experience with sport and baseball.

So why is the same not true of Australian writers and football? Are we not allowing migrants to Australia to write? Are we not allowing them to experience football? If not migrants, why haven’t other authors spent more time thinking about the influence of football on culture in Melbourne?

Not surprisingly I don’t have the answer to these questions. All I know is, I would certainly like to read more literary writing about football, because I am pretty sure it would be a worthwhile field of endeavour.

* the article was Eric Solomon, “Jews and Baseball: A Cultural Love Story” in Eisen and Wiggins (eds.) Ethnicity and Sport in North American History and Culture, Greenwoon press, Westport Connecticut, 1994

Time and tide

2009-08-10T12:19:00.003+10:00

A week is a long time in football, or so the well-worn cliché goes. Last week the Melbourne footy club were being accused of tanking, sending players off for surgery, and ‘experimentation’. This week, the collective football community has conceded that Melbourne are not tanking, they are just that bad. The less said about the North Melbourne v Melbourne game the better.

I went to the friday night game at the MCG, Geelong v Blues. I made the journey with two cats fans and was looking forward to a win. I thought it would be fun to see what its like for fans who win on regular basis! Sadly it was not to be. I fear the cat’s era of domination cannot hold much longer, injuries are mounting and age is catching up with some of their biggest stars.

And while I know the ebb of this Geelong side will upset the many loyal cats fans I know, their tide will rise again. That’s one of the things I like most about football, the ebb and flow of teams. And while they undertake the inevitable ‘rebuilding phase’ their absence from the top of the ledger makes room for other sides that desperately deserve some time in the sun. Melbourne, Fremantle, North…

Actually, we all deserve some time in the sun. It was frickin’ freezing at the football on Friday night, despite the six layers of wool I had on, and I am afraid I wont ever feel my toes again. This cold and windy winter has brought me more misery than just endless dees losses and frostbite and I, personally, am ready for it to be over.

Bring on the sun, bring on the bbqs, and, most importantly, bring on the finals!

Blah, Blah, Tank, Blah, Blah, Blah

2009-08-04T11:54:00.005+10:00

Seriously who really cares? I am so monumentally over all of this talk about tanking.

I like that we have a competition that is designed to try and keep competing clubs as close together in ability, resources and opportunity. It makes sure that we do not have the same team winning each September.

Did you get bored with Brisbane won 3 in a row? I did. Are you bored now watching the fluctuations in Hawthorn’s form and the sudden rise of the perpetual promisers St Kilda? I’m not. What are the chances everything will change completely by the time finals 2010 roll around? Pretty good, actually.

There is an incentive to lose. So what. There really isn’t any great incentive to win for any of the clubs outside of finals contention. Better they get their guys patched up and ready for a good preseason than have them play injured for another month.

There is an incentive to experiment and play people out of position. So what. I doubt many of the players object - it might be their one chance to prove themselves to be the gun forward/backman/midfielder/ruckman they always dreamed of being. Good luck to them.

And OMG, is it really that difficult as a supporter? It just means I am happy either way. I am happy when we win, because winning is what we are here for, and I am happy when we lose because it gives us the opportunity for more wins in the future.

It is true that I have lowered expectations – its what you do to survive tough times at your football club. Maybe I would feel differently if I was a Collingwood supporter and I always expected to reach September. But I don’t. And I trust that the peeps who run my football club are trying their hardest to make sure the club sticks around, not just this year, but for decades to come.

To those muppet Dees supporters who sang the Richmond club song after the game (there were probably two people if we are honest and not looking for a good headline) just STFU and go back to the pub, you are just encouraging the hysteria.

End transmission. Let us speak of tanking no more, lest my head explode from rage.

Two Bulls in a Paddock

2009-07-31T10:53:00.002+10:00

What an ugly and demeaning expression that is.

They’re doing it at Collingwood, it seems like Port might be keen, and now it turns out that they tried to do it at Brisbane, failed to get the contract signed, but ended up with the bloke they wanted, when they wanted him, anyway. All of this succession planning is interesting but jeepers, what a beat up.

In the modern era of the game one club has one coach, or at least that’s how it appears from the outside. But things are always more complicated than they appear. Historically the coaching position was never so clear cut, there have been plenty of captain-coaches like Jesaulenko and Barassi, as well as formal and informal succession plans down the ages. And in the modern game the head coach might have the final say, but there are almost as many coaches as there are players at today’s football clubs. Fitness coaches, weights coaches, midfield coaches, kicking coaches, etc. As well as directors of coaching, welfare officers and the like. The players don’t seem to have any trouble figuring out who is boss.

Perhaps the media are the only ones who have a problem with it? Presumably because they are not sure who to hassle for a quote or whose resignation to call for when things are going pear-shaped. Or perhaps its just because anytime they put Collingwood on the back of the newspaper they sell more copies.

I predict that the next two years will be all sunshine and roses down at Collingwood, as long as the team keeps winning. Come round 6 2011, if the pies aren’t in the top half of things, then it will take significant board level intestinal fortitude to not give Mick the boot and install Nathan a smidge early. We shall see...

History never repeats, I tell myself before I go to sleep...

2009-07-30T12:43:00.004+10:00

(with apologies to Split Enz)

I have been taking a stroll down memory lane with a copy of Football Ltd by Garry Linnell. It is truly great football book wich not only gives a fascinating insight into corporatisation of the AFL, but also a beautiful and terrifying snapshot of the recklessness and hedonism of entrepreneurial business during the era.

I have just finished reading the chapter on the creation of the Brisbane Bears, their disastrous move to Carrara on the Gold Coast and the alliance with Christopher Skase that ended in debt and tears. So it is with wry amusement that I note the signing of NRL player Karmichael Hunt to the soon-to-be-realised Gold Coast Football Club. I can’t help wondering, if the Bears had managed a coup like that in 1988 instead of signing fading star Warwick Capper, would the Queensland public (and everyone else for that matter) have paid a bit more attention? Could the path of football history have been changed if we had just thought to poach rugby players sooner?

Good luck to Hunt and the GCFC. I hope it is an experiment that works. And I hope that they have all read Football Ltd, because within its pages are the inglorious mistakes the league and its clubs made in the pursuit of expansion. Mistakes the GCFC would be wise not to repeat.

A hen in the roosterhouse

2009-07-30T10:25:00.002+10:00

Kelli Underwood is calling football on TV. And she’s a lady.

I know, we all thought that the gates of hell would open and the MCG would be dragged on in the second a woman was allowed to tell men something about a game a football, but it seems those fears were unfounded. It turns out, external genitalia is not the only qualification for knowing something about football.

Well done to channel 10 for giving her a shot, and for recognising that football calling is not the sort of thing one is good at overnight. For the moment they appear willing to give her the time and support to improve. I hope that continues.

I personally thought she was good. I like a commentator who is humble enough do to the research and actually knows the names of the players (I am looking at you ABC commentary box calling the Melbourne v Sydney game last week. “Is that Morton or Bate?”* ) and tells you what said players are doing on the field. If she didn’t have Malcolm Blight providing his own brand of staggeringly useless special comments, she might have even had something to work with.

I would prefer a few less newspaper articles which damn the woman with faint praise. Underwood’s has had a pretty fast rise from getting the twilight game call on ABC radio to the hot seat of the Cats v Hawks game on a Saturday afternoon, and I think she is entitled to a little time to adjust. Can we give her more than two weeks on the air before tearing her call to pieces?

Having called two cats games in a row, the fan forums are alight with complaints of bias, but seriously, even the most fabulous and virtuous caller of the game, Gerard Whateley is prone to a little bias, so is Tim Lane and don’t get me started on the rest of the special comments crowd. Still if I called a dees game, we could be down by 70 points and you still wouldn’t know who we were playing against.

There is only so much of the fan forums you can read on this topic before involuntarily tossing your computer out the window, but I would like to draw your attention to this gem, posted by melbournemartin on the bigfooty forum,

"This is the problem. She sucks (apparently, I was at the game instead) but if we say it, then we're racist."

Now that is quality analysis.

* Bate

Morton

Hard to tell apart aren't they?

Well, that was quite the hiatus

2009-07-30T10:10:00.003+10:00

It turns out I have not graced these pages for over a year. Sorry about that. Still, I am pretty sure there was nobody hanging out for the next installment, so can we all just pretend like I have been posting witty, insightful and well-researched pieces on the world of football this whole time. Okay, great.

Listing the MFC

2008-06-26T10:34:00.004+10:00

This week the areas of my past and present university life have intersected. It has been proposed that the Melbourne Football Club be put on the National Trust Heritage register.

This is an interesting thing, because intangible heritage is still a new and contested area among heritage studies and practice, so much so that Australia is yet to become states party to UNESCO’s 2003 Convention on the Safeguarding of Intangible Cultural Heritage and the National Trust are having a conference next week to discuss the issues surrounding intangible heritage.

I wont bore you with the details here. The intricacies of the world of national and international heritage legislation are interesting to only a very few. Find me in a pub after about 3 wines if you want to hear the full story.

Were the Melbourne Football Club to be listed, which incidentally I think there is a lot of merit in doing, it would not afford the club and protection whatsoever. And this is where the media always get it wrong. They don’t understand heritage and report everything to do with it badly - when they report it at all.

‘Club spokesman Leigh Newton rejected suggestions the push for heritage listing was a strategic move to stave off extinction or stymie attempts to forcibly relocate Victorian clubs interstate.’

No kidding. The reason it is not a strategic move, is because there is absolutely no strategic advantage to doing so. National Trust heritage listing is a plaque, a little recognition, advice on advocacy from the National Trust if it is threatened, and if the planets align correctly, a marginally more favourable attitude from Heritage Victoria – thought at present they have no capacity to recognise intangible heritage at all.

I think there is value in listing the football club, in recognition of its development of the game and as a founding club. But no one should be deluded into thinking such a listing could have any impact on the chances of the club's survival.

Update: Jake Niall gets its almost half right:

'Similarly, it would be wonderful to maintain the presence of the game's oldest club. But Stynes can't ensure the survival of the Melbourne Football Club via a heritage listing. It will live or die on the basis of its present-day relevance.'

Its still a really annoying article though.

The MFC, nightclubs and other things I dont know anything about

2008-06-12T12:03:00.002+10:00

Radio silence over. Apologies for the slackness people, I discovered Friday Night Lights and a month of my life disappeared.

The last month has been an interesting one in the world of football. My football team has celebrated its 150 years of being in style (I gather - the tickets were so hugely expensive I didn’t go and I don’t know anyone who did). And the team now oscillates between half-arsed, bullshit, membership tearing losses, and impressive, really quite near to good, gallant losses. Its heady days! One day, sometime, we might actually get a W. But looking at the fixture and our “forward line”* I don’t think its going to be this year.

By the end of toady we will also have a new board. It all looks good to me, everyone seems pretty qualified and like all Melbourne supporters I think Jim Stynes is a dead-set champion who can do no wrong. I would, however, like to note the lack of women on his ticket. At the end of this rigmarole we will have only one woman on the board. This is not pleasing.

The topic of footballers and nightclubs has arisen a couple of times in the last month, and what I have to say is this:

I don’t actually know anyone who has been thrown out of a nightclub, and given the behaviour of some people still inside, I’m inclined to believe that it probably pretty difficult to get thrown out.

Can these footballers not keep their head down, have a beverage with their mates, take a few happy snaps on their mobile phones and bugger off home like the rest of us? Apparently they can't because they are harassed by people wanting autographs and blokes wanting to test their manhood by picking a fight. I believe them, and that doesn’t sound like very much fun to me. So my question is, why are footballers still going to nightclubs?

These guys are on enormous paychecks, they all have shiny houses they live in with their footballing mates, so I’ve got an idea, a quick post game trip to Dan's and they can enjoy themselves in the comfort of their own home free from harassment, bouncers and Herald Sun photographers. The only front window they will take a piss on is their own. Problem solved. Next…

Having said that, Buddy didn’t really do anything terrible, and it seems Richo didn’t do anything at all, so I think we should all just take a chill pill.

Round 12 here we come.

On reflection, its possible I might have read a little too much wwtdd today, so things are more acerbic than usual. I’ll aim for something more cerebral for the next installment.

*These quotation marks are on purpose. Something else entirely is going on with these.

City of Casey?

2008-05-07T16:23:00.005+10:00

This all sounds great to me. I really really want my football club to have a single place for training and administration. There's just one problem. I'm a snob. And a large number of Melbourne's members are snob.

Are they going to want to go here for family day?

After the Second Siren

2008-05-05T16:35:00.003+10:00

Yesterday afternoon my football team won. It was awesome.

What was also really good was that the crowd were allowed out onto the ground after the game. And I’m pretty sure all 19,000 of us took up the opportunity.

It was lovely -mildly dangerous- but lovely. Amidst the wayward species, the flailing arms and the shanked kicks, there was a real sense of community. People marked each others balls, there were smiles everywhere (even the faces of Freo supporters - which I thought was especially magnanimous) and everyone relished the opportunity to stand in the middle of the G and look up.

The community spirit and sense of fun on display that evening under the lights of the G was worth every patch of damaged turf, and I sincerely hope the MCC and AFL consider allowing it more often –again.

Actually, when I say the crowd got to stand in the middle of the G, that’s not strictly correct, they fence off the centre square to protect it from wear and tear so only two people got to stand right in the middle of the ground. Me and little boy called George.

I was enjoying a bit of kick to kick with my companions when a little boy near to me got clocked in the head with a football. Tears welled in his eyes and those in the vicinity all rushed over to see if he was alright. It transpired that poor little George had not only copped a footy to the side of the head, he was also lost and after many minutes of trying to work out where his dad might be, I went to security. They then got George and me to stand right in the middle of the ground so that George’s dad might see him.

Standing there with George, trying to pick a face I had never seen out of the crowd I was overcome with that same gut wrenching feeling I has as a kid, that George was having right at the moment, of being lost and totally helpless. The feeling passed in a moment, but I was surprised it had come at all. I was the grown up, confident and consoling, but it seems that feeling is never too far from the surface no matter your age.

Don’t worry, this is a happy story. I have never seen a little boy run so fast as George when his dad did finally emerge out of the crowd and I’m pretty sure the bump on the head was long forgotten! I'll wager, if you could ask him, George would still be keen to run onto the ground for a kick after next week's game too.

2008-05-05T09:02:00.001+10:00

Photo from The Age

Insufficient

2008-05-02T11:00:00.002+10:00

Just so Channel 9 know, An offical rebuke is not an adequate response.

And where is the AFL exactly?

Shrieking, Hysterical and Desperate

2008-05-02T10:37:00.004+10:00

It seems Sam Newman might have trouble escaping his own ignorance this time.

The highlight for me was his comments on radio:

"I love women. Been married to two or three of them," he said. "(But) tell me what they've ever done in football or for football.

"I'm talking about the people on football clubs. I'm talking about women in football who use football as a vehicle to do whatever else they wish to do that's got nothing to do with football ... they have an agenda."

He continued: "The AFL does not need shrieking, hysterical, desperate women trying to bob up with causes that they just get their excitement out of, or some self-fulfilling gratification out of very minor and trivial issues."

I don’t think I have the energy to go line by line through the wrongness of these comments. I think you get the point. There is a recording on The Age if you feel the need.

He and Garry Lyon made things worse on The Footy Show last night, first with Lyon trying to dismiss the letter written to the station by prominent football women by arguing that Caroline Wilson accepted the apology so everyone else should let it rest. And then by letting Newman argue his case – badly.

Let me make this clear, Caroline Wilson was not the only person offended by Newman’s comments and actions.

Newman said something very revealing on live television last night, something that those who do care about the role of women in the game should take notice of,

When co-host Garry Lyon said the game had come a long way in its treatment of women, Newman retorted: "We've been forced to come a long way."

That’s it right there people.

That is the attitude of Newman, and one can only assume the large portion of the overexcited sycophantic Footy Show audience who cheered him on. For many, women are not an equal, they are not even relevant.

Newman comes from the school of thought that if you never played, you’ll never know and you can never be a part of the game. Women can be taxi drivers for their sons, they can be fundraisers, they can dress up and look nice on best and fairest night, but they cannot have anything to do with the running of the game – How could they possibly? They never pulled the boots on. These people may have been forced to keep their opinions to themselves but that doesn’t mean they are going to change them.

I believe Caroline Wilson is right. Women in football do have to ‘just keep plugging away’, making our presence know, showing individuals that hold this opinion that the time for attitudes like theirs has passed. That is the only way we are going to change opinion. And we just have to come to terms with the fact that we probably never will change everyone. But I also believe that The Footy Show and Sam Newman make that fight harder by every day by giving that misogynistic attitude a public voice.

In this instance ‘just plugging away’ is not a satisfactory response. Newman has to be publicly held to account for his actions. A private apology (or even a half-hearted public one) is not enough. To those who agree with him, silent resignation sounds much the same as quiet approval.

Those that watch The Footy Show need to understand that his attitude is wrong and that it has no place in the game today. I don’t care that Newman thinks women ‘serve very little purpose’ but I care that by publicly stating his opinion he gives permission for many more to agree with him.

The only consolation in all this is that with every opportunity for comment Newman digs a deeper hole for himself. One I sincerely hope he cannot get his way out of.

Neitz

2008-04-24T10:29:00.005+10:00

It is always sad to watch a footballer finishing off his career. Particularly when the heart and mind are there, but the body just can't do it anymore. More so when it is your own team captain.

David Neitz has been an excellent footballer and a strong leader. Under his leadership, the Melbourne football club has had a quiet strength and stoicism that has served it well through the ups and downs of the seasons and got the job done with a minimum of fuss. I do hope that if he wants to return after this injury he will get that opportunity but if he is forced to retire he can begin his life after football proud of his achievements.

Chris Connelly described him thus:

"I have never come across a player who loved his football club or would do more for his football club than David Neitz," Connolly said. "He is the most passionate club man I think I've ever met."

I don't think there is any higher praise.

Trial by Media

2008-04-24T10:18:00.002+10:00

Helen’s comment on my last post about Barry Hall posed some very interesting questions, which are more than worthy of a post in and of themselves. It has taken me several days of pondering to venture a response.

Helen wrote

"How do you think trial-by-media relates to sport, given sport's symbiotic and mutually dependent relationship with media? Would suppression of media reports verge on censorship? Is the media capable of controlling itself and resisting reporting on such events? Or is sport outside the realm of natural justice, given it writes and adheres to its own set of laws?"

I suspect I am likely to tie myself in knots of contradiction on this topic, but here goes…

I think trial-by-media is absolutely an important issue in sport, and has been for as long as someone pointed a camera at a game. I will focus my attention on its role in football, but pretty much everything to be said can be applied to all sport.

Football and media have a mutually dependent relationship that has grown more important, and more dangerous with every passing year and every passing dollar. Just ask the staff of the Age who argue the independence of their journalism is a threatened by The Age’s cosy relationship with Melbourne Victory. Journalistic integrity in football reporting at the Herald Sun has long gone out the window, though I hazard to guess few of its readers noticed.

Is the media capable of controlling itself and resisting reporting on such events? Sadly the answer is no. A few years ago now, newspapers and nightly news programs noticed that articles about sport sell. And big. So sport sections, grew and grew to the point where now, the weekend papers (and Monday, and Friday) are all about the sport. Not that I’m complaining, its all I ever read. Oh no, wait, I am complaining. I complain almost every weekend as I open the paper and read another bullshit article cobbled together to fill column inches around some really good photography.

Actions on the field are now replayed ad nauseum (literally in the case of Nathan Brown’s broken leg) until any infringing player cannot possible get a fair hearing at the tribunal, nor at the local bar or around kitchen table one imagines. This is made easier and more impressive thanks to the instant replay and the numbers of cameras now around the group. But it is the product of the need to fill air time and column inches. We hear everyone’s opinion, get every angle, discuss every scenario before it reaches a tribunal and while our nation’s courts may still have the capacity for impartiality, the football tribunal certainly doesn’t (and I don’t suspect it ever really did). Pressure from public opinion, and indeed from an AFL more interested in protecting its brand that anything else cannot help but influence the tribunal.

Having said all of that, in the case of Barry Hall I think the tribunal did well to hold firm to its decision of 7 weeks, rather than 9 because of Hall’s guilty plea. It was correct within the laws of the game, and showed they were able to resist the pressure of the media, and various members of the Staker family. So maybe I’m wrong.

I don’t agree with suppression, but I suspect that even if the AFL could suppress media reports about an incident, it would be less than effective. There is more gossip, and more loose lips in football than anywhere else I have come across, and as people like Bomber Thompson can probably testify, the truth is never as dangerous or damaging as the rumors that will abound in an information vacuum. I would rather see a glut of uninformed commentary on actual events/facts that a handful of articles made up of innuendo laden speculation. In conclusion, Suppression just wont work – how many episodes of Underbelly have you seen?

So well, what’s the answer? I’m not really sure. I don’t think newspapers and nightly news programs are going to give up the cash-cow that is football lightly and tribunals will always face outside pressure when making decisions. I just hope that editors have enough freedom, ability and integrity to make a reasoned judgment about each story they run, and whether it contributes anything further to a discussion.

7 weeks - then we'll dredge it up again

2008-04-16T09:11:00.004+10:00

Well, Barry Hall got seven weeks and all I have to say is, whatever.

Frankly I’m not quite sure what everyone got so hot and bothered about. As far as I can tell a player infringed the rules of the game- yes it was really really bad, and very dangerous and could possible have killed the guy* – but it was against the rules of the game and Hall has now been punished under those rules. Where exactly did the system fall down? We have already eradicated that kind of violence from the game and this is proof positive.

There will be those that say he didn’t get long enough, there will be those that say he got too long, there will be those that say he shouldn’t start serving the penalty until he is fit to play (though how the game could police this is a pretty big questions). But I think that on the whole the AFL has handled the whole thing with composure while the media worked itself into a tizz.

Please don’t ask Barry Hall why he did it. He wasn’t thinking when he hit Staker and I can just about guarantee you that no clearer or more rational explanation is going arise over time. It’s pointless to ask and Hall’s lame excuse of a ‘mind snap’ is somehow even worse than not saying anything at all.

A fuss will now be made about whether players should be able to be sent off during a game. Call me old fashioned, but leaving players on the field after they have been reported is one of the few rules that distinguish Australian Rules from other forms of football around the world, and it is one of the few rules that hasn't been fiddled with over the game’s 150 years. So I think we should leave it.

In conclusion, a guy hit another guy on the footy field. It was ugly and it was not within the rules of the game. As a result the guy got suspended. Can we all calm down a bit now?

And while we are calming down, can we perhaps discuss the fact that a player broke their arm on an advertising barrier on the side of the ground and will now be sidelined for weeks? I don’t know about you, but I’d be pretty keen to make sure that didn’t happen again.

*Anyone who disputes that a single punch can kill or permanently brain damage anyone (I’m looking specifically at the male panel members of Footy Confidential) is flat out wrong.

The Misogynist and the Dummy

2008-04-14T15:34:00.007+10:00

It has been a week and a half since the episode of The Footy show where Sam Newman in his inimitable manner demeaned women in general and Caroline Wilson in particular and offended anyone on the planet with half a brain*. I know this is an almost weekly occurrence, but this segment did not just step over the line, it left it several miles back in the distance.

I think I might just be able to speak about it without losing my cool.

I didn’t see the incident. I long ago gave up trying to watch The Footy Show - it is too dull, too stupid, and too unrelated to football to hold my attention. But I did see a very unhappy Caroline Wilson fronting up for work at Footy Confidential the following Monday night and taking Garry Lyon to task. For anyone who did not hear about it read Sam Lane’s excellent article for the full details.

Over the days that followed I discussed these happenings with many people and had a pretty tragic back and forth with my partner about the lack of interested the football community had in setting things right.

Partner: why don’t the AFL do something about it?

Me: Well the footy show is made by Channel 9 so the AFL can’t control it.

Partner: But couldn’t they boycott and tell the players they’re not allowed to go on the show?

Me: The players aren’t contracted to the AFL they are contracted to their clubs, so the AFL would have to get all of the 16 clubs to agree to the boycott. And even if you could get 15 of the teams, the president of Collingwood is Eddie McGuire and he sort of works for Channel 9 a bit. And even if you had a few of the clubs boycott, some of their players have individual contracts with Channel 9 so they wouldn’t boycott anyway.

Partner: That’s shit.

Me: Yep.

The truth is that while a boycott is a extreme response there was nowhere near the amount of interest in this story and community outrage that there should have been.

The only vaguely prominent article written about it was by another female journalist and Andrew Demetriou gave a bullshit, “check out how much good we’ve been doing with our rights and responsibilities stuff over the last few years” answer when asked about it on Offsiders on Sunday morning (Caroline Wilson was sitting on the couch opposite him while he said it too). Where were the articles from the men of the game and the media who do respect women? The deafening silence leads me to doubt there are any at all.

Caroline Wilson levelled a lot of her criticism at Garry Lyon. As the host of both The Footy Show and Footy Confidential he didn’t even have to courtesy to stick up for his colleague. I am a loyal Melbourne supporter and have long defended Lyon as he has compromised and embarrassed his way into a successful media career. I have little doubt that he apologised off-air, but his miserly on-air apology and the lack of any attempt to make amends for his part in allowing the segment to happen at all, let along continue, has saddened me.

On-air was where an example needed to be made for all those viewers that thought Newman was funny or that the segment was appropriate. The response from Lyon, Craig Hutchison (who was on The Footy Show at the time) and Channel 9 was far from adequate. I doubt I will be so vociferously defending Lyon from criticism in future.

The reality is that until individuals like Sam Newman (and there are many more than just him in the game and the media – including, it appears, Garry Lyon and Craig Hutchison) are publicly held to account for their behaviour and for their unacceptable attitudes towards women nothing will really change. I doubt whether they even realise why what happened was inappropriate and offensive.

Watching Before the Game on Saturday night a friend asked whether I thought they might have considered replacing Peter Hellier with another woman on the panel instead of Mick Molloy. Sadly, I doubt it. A token woman on the panel is seen as all that necessary for television programs and the game to claim that women are equal in the game.

There is no women’s round this year – not that the AFL ever put any effort into promoting it or recognising women as anything more than mothers and taxi drivers anyway.

Sorry, I may have lost my cool anyway.

* Not The Footy Show’s target demographic to be sure.

Richo. Over here!

2008-03-17T16:38:00.000+11:00

Can I just very quickly say how absolutely hilarious I find the commercial they have been running this week to advertise ‘Before the Game’.

I won’t spoil it if you haven’t seen it. Just make sure to keep an eye out.

Long Dormant

2008-03-17T16:35:00.001+11:00

After a long hiatus I am going to attempt to do this blogging thing again. And to try to do so at semi-regularly*.

The reason for this is that the football season is about to start and I can hardly contain my excitement. After the miserable sham that was this year’s pre-season competition (my cynicism owing in no small part to Melbourne’s inability to win at a single outing of any kind over the pre-season) it will be nice to get down to some serious football business.

I also want to spend more time thinking and talking about football in general. This is a radical shift for me. For the last few years of my life at least, I have tried hard to diversify my interests during the winter months - to hold conversations, and go out on the weekends and stuff. In other words - to not let football rule my life.

But everything has changed. The world has shifted on its axis. I now have perfectly legitimate and even tax deductible excuse to spend my every waking moment immersed in football. I’m writing a PhD about the game and the gentlemen who play. Bring on Round One.

Is that a siren I hear?

*Apologies in advance if this proves less than successful.

Gentle Reminder Notice

2007-05-02T10:02:00.000+10:00

Melbourne’s public transport system is overcrowded. Everyone knows this. Everyone who regularly catches public transport has known this for five years.

Melbourne’s commuters are bad tempered, and they have every right to be. But that does not give them an excuse to be bad mannered. I feel it is time for a little refresher course in public transport (in particular, tram) courtesy. So, I bring you the

Guide to Harmonious Tram Travel

In no particular order:

Anyone over the age of 70 automatically gets a seat. This is non-negotiable. This is for a good reason. Old people break. You’re not going to be helping an old guy learn to walk again after the tram stops suddenly and he breaks his hip, so maybe you should just give him a little help now? Give up the seat. And don’t do it begrudgingly, there is plenty of seat time in your future.

Pretending you didn’t see the old person because you were listening to your Ipod is not acceptable. Eyes and ears are different people.

Sit in the seat correctly. I don’t care how much the guy next to you stinks. Knees forward. Poking your legs out into the isle takes up premium standing space for those who have not scored a seat like you.

Put your bag on your lap, or tuck it under your seat, don’t take up what little ankle room there is with bags.

We are not children and therefore you cannot ‘bags’ seats. Sprinting onto the tram, grabbing a seat, and then using your bag to mind it for 10 minutes while you get up to buy a ticket is not fair play.

Those standing, take your backpack off. This is non-negotiable. While it might not appear it to you, your backpack makes you a meter wide, and every single time you turn around someone scores a backpack to the chest/shoulder/face (depending on victim height).

Wearing outrageously high and flimsy stilettos does not automatically give you access to a seat. It is your own stupid fault for wearing them on a tram in the first place. Of course if you are over 70 and wearing stilettos I will not only give you a seat, but a medal as well.

If you are sitting, don’t stare at those standing as if they are somehow cluttering up you world. It is likely to make people angry beyond reason.

When sitting next to strangers on the tram, do not lean on them. Not even just a little bit. If you spine is so weak that you can't hold up your own body for the duration of the trip then perhaps you should consider getting up from your desk for some exercise occasionally?

Do not talk loudly on your phone to your secretary about how much you have to do today and all of the meetings you will need to reschedule. This can be done in 5 minutes when you actually reach the office. I’m sorry, you are just not that important.

Ipods have a volume control for a reason – use it. Listening to ‘I want to be your girlfriend’ in tinny reverb because some guy three seats away has his Ipod up too loud is not fun and likely to incur revenge.

If you are sitting in the seat next to the ticket machine and the machine it is defective, it is your responsibility to inform every new ticket purchaser before they put the money into the machine. Yes, this is tedious and unfair, but so is losing you money in the ticket machine. Would you like to be told before you lose all of your gold coins to the machine? That is a glass of wine or a posh beer you’ve just missed out on.

Please, for pity sake, put your perfume on when you get to work. The commingling of 120 different deodorants and perfumes on the morning tram is enough to put anyone into anaphylactic shock.

When the tram driver gives you instructions, like ‘please get out of the doorway’ or ‘move to the centre of the tram, please’, don’t stand around stupidly and look at other people as if they driver is quite clearly not talking to you. The tram driver is not threatening your civil liberties; they would just like to get the tram moving. Things will go a lot more smoothly and the tram will move a lot more quickly if you just do as they say.

If you see someone sprinting franticly for the tram as it begins to pull away, don’t be a prick, pull the cord and help them on. It’ll be the only good deed you have to do all day, I promise.

Further suggestions welcomed.

Rats of Tobruk

2007-04-19T12:33:00.000+10:00

I just watched the sale of the Rats of Tobruk hall in Albert Park for 1,730 000 dollars.

Every time a building gets sold in my suburb, every time a shop closes and a chain opens, we call it the ‘end of the era’. In fact, just last week I jokingly suggested that the installing of new check-out counters at the local IGA should be marked with a minutes silence for the old ones. The changes in Albert Park have been so slow and at the same time so fast that we have had many ends of many eras. The only difference this time that somehow, this time, I think it might be true. The sale of this building is indeed an end of an era.

My experience of the Rats building at the end of my street, was, for a long time, one of mild confusion. As a small child walking home form the school bus I was always slightly bemused. What is that building? Who are the rats? Why would rats need a building anyway? Despite not understanding its importance I always enjoyed seeing the building with is wrought iron gates and its mysterious stained glass windows. It was a hallmark of my neighbourhood. A familiar sight that meant that home was 'not long now'.

Having studied much world war two history I now have a much better understanding about the Rats of Tobruk, their significance, and why that little hall has been an important meeting place for 50 years.

As a cultural heritage student I have a much better understanding of what the building means. Standing next to the new owner of this place as he bid (or at least the man sent to bid for them) I looked at him, wondering what is in store for the Rats of Tobruk. I am curious and hopeful that they might be able to do justice to the important site they now hold and a little sad that it can no longer be the place that I remember.

Bully Boys

2007-04-13T15:07:00.000+10:00

5 teenage boys from Xavier College bully their classmate by sticking him in the 'wheelie bin of terror' and pushing and kicking the bin until he falls flat on the ground. They video it and distribute it to their mates. Xavier development director Graham Sharp describes it as "a prank that got out of hand".

Nice.

Now thats what I call developing 'reflective, compassionate and articulate men of Christian faith and hope, who will give service and leadership in our world'.

Well at least we can rest assured that, given its Xavier, half these boys will probaly be drafted into the AFL in the next couple of years. One can only wonder what they'll be able to do once they have a massive disposable income and too much free time.

Political Inclusion?

2007-04-11T13:49:00.000+10:00

Julia Gillard spoke at the Melbourne University Centre for Public Policy last night, on the topic of ‘Labor's framework for social inclusion’. She spoke knowledgably and engagingly about what is essentially weet-bix dry public policy. It clearly not a particularly sexy topic because, the public lecture was not nearly as packed out with punters (and whackos) that an event like this would usually be.

I have long been a fan, but that was based almost entirely on the fact that she was a woman and a Melbournian. There was no rational basis on which I had formed my opinion.

Last night I was hugely impressed with her as a speaker and even more impressed with the depth of her knowledge of policy and ideas outside her own portfolios. During a Q&A session she fielded questions about gay & lesbian policy, the budget, indigenous affairs, women’s affairs, infrastructure and IR with ease and it was quite apparent that unlike certain minister within the current administration, she actually reads things that are given to her.*

Its not really a surprise to me that the punters didn’t turn out in droves to this lecture, because social policy, and particularly policy surrounding social inclusion, is just not sexy. This is for two reasons. One, is that its really, really hard to find anything that works and twice as hard to pay for it. And two, its about helping the old, the poor, the uneducated, the disabled, migrants and aboriginal people, and most of the population couldn’t give a stuff about any of them.

But it turns out Julia Gillard does. She actually believes in social policy and that we have an obligation to invest in social inclusion while the economy is strong enough to pay for it. It warmed my heart to see someone working within the government (or at least the alternative government**) talking about the things I care about and saying the sorts of things I like to hear. It has been a long time.

Like Tom, I am struggling to contain my pessimism (the dees season is quite obviously ruined and its only round 3) about the coming election and my disillusionment with the political climate in general, but last night’s lecture was a nice reminder that some of my values are also held by some of the politicians, some of the time.

*She also had this very clever way of mentioning the shadow minister for whichever portfolio she was talking about, a bit of a ‘getting to know the gang’ kind of a thing.

** I am enjoying the way Special K has started calling it the ‘alternative government’ makes it sound like they actually are an ‘alternative’ not just an ‘opposition’.

You can now get a transcript of this lecture from here.

You light up my life

2007-04-05T10:17:00.000+10:00

Oh, my god, are you for reals?

This is quite possibly the silliest thing I have ever heard.

The game is now so fast and so controlled that nobody in the stands can tell whats going on. So what we'll do is turn the lights on and off to make it more theatrical... so the supporters dont get bored.

Problems with game? Nah.

Chappelli on Woolmer

2007-03-29T13:02:00.000+10:00

There isn't much that Ian Chappell says that I find myself diagreeing with. His recent article in The Bulletin on the death of Bob Woolmer is no excpetion.

I have struggled to find anything to say about Woolmer, the World Cup, and the match fixing, betting scandals and dodgy dealings that continue unabated in international cricket.

Lucky there are those more qualifyed and articulate to say what I mean for me.

Take your canvas bag, take your canvas bag...

2007-03-27T17:06:00.000+10:00

I study at one university and work at another, and these two institutions could not be more different either geographically or ideologically. Yet, despite these differences, a fashion phenomenon seems to sweeping the student body at both institutions.

It is entirely unexplainable; it is… the country road canvas bag.

For those who are not in the know (ie. Me until a week ago), it looks like this…

Once the purview of Toorak gym-goers and weekend trips to Lorne, it appears the humble country road bag is now the hottest fashion accessory for the undergraduate set.

Why? Well, I’m not entirely sure.

All I can tell you as that it is not gender specific, that the most prevalent colours are ‘army’ and ‘deep lake’* and that they retail on ebay for a whopping 70+ bucks.

It may come as a surprise to you, but fashion has always been something of a mystery to me. And why anyone would pay that much for a canvas bag to carry their school books around in is probably going to remain a mystery, I fear.

*Yes these are actual colours (well, in the retail sense of the word 'colour'). Thank you to ebay for providing both the image and all of the information I could ever want about country road canvas bags.

Genius

2007-03-21T12:41:00.000+11:00

I just recieved an email from the Rights at Work campaign against the IR legislation. They have an innovative new way to get supporters to cough up some hard currency for their ad campaigns. I for one, think it genius.

Check it out at http://www.rightsatwork.com.au/campaigns/bbq.

I would personally love to try the 'Non-Core Promises Spicy Beef Patties'.

Honda's earth dream

2007-03-19T13:26:00.000+11:00

I'm guessing not to many people watch the Australian GP yesterday. Thats okay, you didn't miss very much. When the winning driver laps pretty much every other car in the race, you can tell there is going to be yet another long and boring season of Formula One ahead.

One mildly interesting thing that I did notice during yesterday's race was the shiny new Honda paint job, entirely sans advertising. It looks like this:

There is a URL on the back of the car, www.myearthdream.com.

There was very little publicity about this as a part of the reaceday coverage, so until I went to the site I had no real idea what Honda was up to. Have a quiz and see for youself.

While I'm not sure if this campaign is the most effective way to change the world, it is interesting to note that environmental concerns are even making an impact on one of the most environmentally devastating sports around.

Quality Keating

2007-03-05T14:58:00.000+11:00

"All tip and no iceberg."

"Desiccated coconut."

Thank you for brightening my day Mr Keating.

And the partially sucked lifesaver* goes to…

2007-02-19T12:49:00.000+11:00

Melbourne Victory had a rather successful win over Adelaide last night wouldn’t you say?

I had the opportunity to watch the game on Foxtel (not quite like being there, but there was air-conditioning involved), and while I am yet to be convince that the skill level of both the players and the commentators is in any way superior to the NSL, I must admit it was nice to see the round ball game going so well.

The crowd was great in size and in attitude, despite being alternately soaked in sweat, then rain and also by those strange mist-making machines that were brought in to help cool the players. Sadly, the mist-machine had no such effect on Ross Aloisi who went to some effort to stupidly get sent off in the first half, marking the end of Adelaide’s chances for success.

The man seen smiling in all of the post game photography, Archie Thompson, did a wonderful job, scoring a hat-trick in the first half, and casually finishing off his tally sheet with another two goals in the second half. Christian Sarkies did well to come on as Archie’s replacement and really stick the boot into the miserable Adelaide. But frankly all awards must go to Fred, a player whose class and skill with the ball continues to set Victory apart from the rest. With service like that its no wonder Thompson walked away with 5.

However, I would like point out something to television news producers. When producing a sports news story, I would appreciate it if you could tell me about the result of the game before you tell me about how well-behaved the crowd was. Victory crowds have proved themselves over two seasons to be free from organised violence and it is insulting to both the fans and the team that race violence (or lack thereof) is more important than the results of the game.

* am I really the only person who thinks this is the worst sporting trophy ever produced?

Picture from The Age online.

Sharks Circling

2007-02-07T10:52:00.000+11:00

In one of the best mental pictures I have encountered in a while, Kelvin Thompson* described this man

as being like this man

Apparently it had something to do with Howard never admitting he is wrong, not because of the massive laugh track surge every time Howard enters a room.

Seems like a slightly skew-wiff analogy to me, but it did get me to thinking... is it possible the Howard government just might

before the next election?

* shadow attorney-general. No I hadn’t remember his name either

The Road Ahead

2007-01-24T10:59:00.000+11:00

I am new to the whole commuter bicycling thing.

I have long been a partially comatose morning commuter sitting in the tram watching poor cyclists flog their guts out getting up the Swanston Street hill. But now it is me on the bike getting hot a sweaty while pedestrians and tram goers look on in sympathy.

I still have the L-plates on, but I am quickly learning the road rules from a cyclists perspective.

Road Rule 1
Bike lanes are more like guidelines rather actual rules. Drivers can feel free to pull up in the bike lane during peak hour – particularly if they are a taxi.

Road Rule 2
Councils are under absolutely no obligation to maintain the road in the bike lane. Terrible patch up jobs, half done maintenance work and potholes are perfectly acceptable terrain for cyclists.

Road Rule 3
When a driver parks and gets out of their car they are required to pretend cyclists do not exist. They must appear shocked and annoyed when a cyclist almost kills themselves trying not to run into said driver.

Road Rule 4
If you are riding in a pack after a bunch up at the lights, road rules no longer apply.

Road Rule 5
If you wear spandex shorts and your lower legs look like two football socks full of cricket balls you do not have to stop for red lights. In fact, you can pretty much pick and choose which road rules you would like to obey.

I seem to be getting the hang of it, I think. Am I missing anything?

You be Riff and I'll be Bernardo

2007-01-18T12:13:00.000+11:00

I would like to second Tom’s excellent piece about the ‘riots’ at the Australian Open on Monday.

I witnessed many such fights during my days attending the local soccer and trust me when I tell you this violence has very little to do with race.

These are 16-25 year old boys, with more testosterone than brain cells who get together and decide to they want to fight. So they call up their mates. Then they call up the guys they want to fight.

That’s right, the whole thing is usually prearranged. They arrange a time and a place and meet up to fight. Or they go to a place where they know each other is going to be (like the tennis). It’s more like a first date than riot.

Its the live action version of the Jets and the Sharks. And the choreography is often just as good (although, perhaps will a little less boxstep).

The whole thing is designed for one purpose only – to show your own mates how tough you are.

Its about aggression, its about masculinity, its about boredom, its not about race.

The many things I have wanted to say

2007-01-17T11:55:00.000+11:00

Mustering the energy to blog is rather difficult at this time of year. Particularly since I have just bought a fabulous, extremely expensive and ridiculously fast new bike, and now have to expend all of my spare energy riding it to work every day. I do have several things to say though. So, in no particular order:

Jim Courier is not a good commentator.

Could the Ashes series have been more dull? (I missed the Adelaide test, so I cannot vouch for the ‘game of the century’ status of that particular outing, but the rest of it was crap.)

I love Sports Night.

Three days of the boxing day test is not enough – I say we make them bat again. And again!

If I have to hear Jim Courier and JA trading sexual innuendo while commentating again I will be sick.

Tony Grieg makes me so angry I want to scream.

If you don’t have an air conditioner, I find a wet towel placed in the freeze for 20 minutes to be a delightful alternative (uses less power too).

20/20 is really good fun to watch. But its not cricket.

Ejecting the entire Greek, Serb and Croatian support group from the tennis on Monday because a couple of testosterone fuelled little boys had a punch-on isn’t really fair.

The media beat up surrounding said ‘riot’ was absurd and there is absolutely no way it can be compared to the events last summer at Cronulla.

Marat Safin is a grumpy, grumpy man. Not so much personally aggressive on the court (like our friend Lleyton) but genuinely pissed off that the world exists at all.

If I hear another person start a conversation with ‘Gee, its hot, isn’t it…’, I will have to evict them from the planet.

SBS’s editing out of two segments from this weeks episode of Top Gear to fit in advertising is about the most disrespectful thing a television station can do to its audience. I thought SBS thought better of us than that. Apparently not.

And…Wow, lots of white dresses at the Golden Globes this year.

Here ends today’s musing/ranting.

Have Mercy

2006-12-21T10:44:00.000+11:00

The Melbourne Zoo has new tiger cubs. Awwwwww.

Retirement

2006-12-21T10:11:00.000+11:00

One of my greatest irritations with sports journalism is the pre-emptive retirement story. I just don’t understand why sports journalists cant wait until a player has actually announced their retirement before they begin eulogising their career.

Endless articles have appeared in the papers today to celebrate the career of Shane Warne, but the man hasn’t announced a single thing yet. If I were him I would have hoped that those doing the celebrating would respect me enough to let me announce my retirement before they start talking about it. Sadly this is rarely the case.

Still, we knew his retirement was coming, and all I’d like to say on the matter is this: given that he is quite probably the dumbest man to have ever strolled the face of the earth, he is an absolute genius.

Photo credit: The Age

Christmas Cheer is OVER

2006-12-19T16:23:00.000+11:00

The new print ad campaign by Coke has officially turned me off Christmas.

I have been looking for a copy of it on the web all day with no luck, so you'll have to check it out for yourself (the flinders street tram stop and station are delightfully adorned at present).

All that I hate about consumerism is artfully captured in this ad.

...Come to think of it, that was probably their intention.

Home James

2006-12-15T17:47:00.000+11:00

I'm sorry I have been so remarkably absent. I am now back in the country and have caught up on my work, my emails, my Christmas shopping and my sleep.

I had a really wonderful time in Laos and now feel the need to tell you all about it...

Anyone thinking about going to Laos...add Viengxay to your destination list. Its a long way from anywhere and you'll need to prepare yourself for a very small plane flight or a very long drive to get there, but if you want to understand the country you are visiting then you need to go there.

Between 1964 and 1973 the leaders of the Lao community revolution, their families, the revolutionary forces soldiers, party cadre and supporters ( around 20,000 people in all) set up Viengxay in northern Laos as their base. The US government saw Laos as the key to preventing the spread of communism in Asia (Dominoes anyone?) and subsequently bombed Lao, and the Pathet Lao forces mercilessly during the daylight hours for those 9 long years. The natural terrain of the Viengxay area, small floodplains surrounded by limetone karst formations created a natural fortress, and from the safety of over 200 caves (set within the limestone karst) the communist party fought and won a war of independence against the Royal Lao Government.

The leaders of the Lao nation suffered years of struggle in those caves, withstanding US attack and then fighting a massive ground war against RLG forces. The experiences of those men undoubtedly shaped the nation that Lao became of the next 30 years and will continue to shape the nation for many governments to come. If you are war buff, a history buff, or a communism buff, Viengxay is a town which illustrates, better than any other I've seen, a nation's heritage writ large on its landscape.

Sorry, enough propaganda... I had a great time. I spent a lot of money on silk ( I could have spent twice as much without even blinking) and spent absoutely no money on anything else. I fell in love with the country and its people and developed a lifelong hatred of the country and its buses. I dot sick, and I got well. I drank way to much backyard brewed booze and ate things I know I wouldn't have if I had asked what they were. I saw turkens (the results of turkey/chicken love affairs) and churkeys (the alternate coupling) and worked with a wonderful group of talented students and Lao people to develop a new heritage interpretation plan for the caves and surrounding heritage sites. All in all a very good time.

its nice to be back, and having not been bombarded with christmas carols and bad commercials since the middle of November, I have been captured with the Christmas spirit (It might also have something to do with the cold rice and undistinguishable meat product I have eated for every meal over the last month). Bring on Christmas lunch!

Mildly Distracted

2006-11-13T14:29:00.000+11:00

Well, last week was an important one for races wasn’t it? I won’t go into the details but donkeys won one, and Japanese horses won the other. It was pretty impressive all round, and should change the face of their respective races for a few years to come.

Sadly my attention to sporting matters has been less than undivided over the last few weeks as I have been preparing for a particularly challenging expedition to remote Laos. I won’t go into the details of what I am doing there (trust me, you’ll be bored) but I thought it might be fun to tell you a little bit about the place. I have stolen these travel photos from the interweb to give you an idea (I will try and bring back my own photos though).

I will be going here…

First I will fly into Vientiane where there will be some chatting (probably just smiling politely, as I don't speak a word of Lao) with governmenty types before flying to Xieng Khuang province, where I will see the Plain of Jars…

Then I will get on a long and windy bus ride to get to Vieng Xai/Vieng Xay/Viengsai (it all depends how you feel like spelling it that day).

Its in Hua Phan province (simmilarly irritating spelling variations are avaliable if required). Hua Phan is the province on the far north eastern bit of the map. You'll notice that Vieng Xai is not big enough to get labelled on this map (or in fact any others I could find on the interwebs).

Vieng Xai was the birthplace of the Pathet Laos, the Lao Communist Party. They took power in 1975 and have stayed there ever since. Their governmental strategy would be better described as 'authoritarian market economy' than 'communist' these days though.

Vieng Xai will probably look like this…

and this...

Think Halong Bay in Vietnam, only without all the water.

Apparently I will be eating this…

but hopefully I won’t have to spend too much time here…

Its all very nerve racking and very exciting, so you'll have to forgive me my distraction. I promise to be wholly obsessed by first world sporting concerns (The Ashes) upon my return.

And the really exciting thing is that by the time I get back this...

will be up and running. Wheee!

Note: Apologies for excess bracketing. I once read a novel which was as bracket obsessed as I have been in the above post. I threw it out.

Best Category Ever

2006-11-01T11:05:00.000+11:00

It has been a good long while since I strolled over to Cute Overload for a visit. So when I stopped by this morning I discovered my new favourite category, Cats ‘n Racks.

Here's one from Cute Overload to get your started:

Classic.

Plus I was getting jealous of Tom’s cute cats.

Shaking my head

2006-11-01T09:55:00.000+11:00

So, Brendan Fevola is a moron.

I’m not surprised that someone got drunk and embarrassed themselves in Ireland, and I’m not surprised it was Brendan.

But did you see what Brendan said to The Age about the incident?

"Obviously, I've done the wrong thing by getting him in a headlock. It was pretty stupid," he said. "And I'm just glad I didn't hit him. I would have been in more trouble if I hit him. A lot more trouble.

"It was just a headlock. If I wanted to hit him, I would have hit him. But I didn't. I just had him in a headlock."

I’ve heard a lot of footballers make public apologies in my time, and I’m pretty sure that wasn’t one.

Extra credit to The Age for the classic headline on the story - 'Headlock Holiday'. Nice.

France-Soir-o-phile

2006-10-24T15:13:00.000+10:00

I don’t want to stray to far into the wonderful Happy Guts’ territory, so please consider this an homage rather than a rip off.

Now that I’m doing this food and sport thing I thought I’d tell you about dinner on Saturday night at France-Soir. Cause it was good.

I have often visited France-Soir’s cousin, Paris Go, and always with good result, so I had high expectations. France-Soir is a little more serious than its cross river relation but I was delighted to discover the experience was as good as promised by my companions. Having already been force-fed a bucket of gin (one very large, very dry martini) prior to dinner I was delighted to see the arrival of bread to the table. And this is good bread. Not the kind of hefty, sourdough goodness you want for dipping in oil, but thick slices of a tiny french baguette with a glossy sheen and a slight sweetness.

After much um-ing and ah-ing I opted for the scallops in basil sauce for the entrée, while he across the table chose the sea perch dumplings in prawn sauce, a favourite from the Paris Go menu. The scallops were not big, but very flavourful and while the sauce wasn’t exactly laden with basil I didn’t mind. The sauce quickly became fantastic creamy soup just waiting for me at the bottom of the empty scallop shells. This was where the bread really came into its own. Soaking up every last skerrick of sauce I ate far more than my fair share and received a brief look of concern from the waiter when he refilled the bread basket. I understand the perch dumplings were also perfect as usual.

After spending far too long trying to decipher the specials menu scribbled on the mirror behind me I gave in and chose the duck l’orange. It’s a good test of a restaurant to try the dish everyone expects to see on the menu. Rogan Josh in the Indian place, falafel in the Lebanese etc. If the kitchen does the everyday dishes as well as they do the specials you know you’re in the right place. And the duck was excellent. The very generous portion of duck, resting in a thin, orangey and not at all sweet sauce was excellent and accompanied by the best french fries I have ever eaten. If only the icy chill coming through the front door hadn’t cooled them before I had a chance to eat the lot. He across the table was also very fond of his veal in a creamy sauce ( I cant remember the finer details, they were in French), and I’m guessing the eye fillet ordered by the guy next to me was also good, as I didn’t hear a word out of him until it was completely gone.

Since the old faithfuls had seen me right so far, I chose the crème brulee for dessert. He across the table chose a sickly sweet and fiendishly dark chocolate mousse. Under pressure from the evening’s second sitting congregating at the bar the crème brulee was in front of me in record time. And France-Soir came through with the goods again. With a creamy layer of custard coated in a wonderfully thick and crunch toffee crust. I really only needed to eat half. Instead I ate the lot and rolled home with a moan and a satisfied grin.

Michael Schumacher has retired

2006-10-23T11:48:00.000+10:00

Its worth mentioning because he was a champion of the sport and has been a household name for years and congratulations to him for being perhaps the best driver the race has ever seen.

But, frankly, I’m pleased he’s retiring. The things that made him such an excellent driver, his cool clinical manner, his steely resolve and complete lack of charisma also made him a bore to watch. His utter dominance of the sport made the sport itself boring. Hell, they even tried changing the rules to make it more interesting. With his retirement we will hopefully see a more even and therefore exciting competition.

The best moments in racing are when drivers stop acting on instruction and start acting on impulse. Craig Lowndes is good case in point. Several weeks ago he drove an almost flawless race to win Bathurst. It was impressive, but hardly exciting viewing. Yesterday however, nowhere near the front, he blew his top, did something stupid and was given a drive through penalty for his behaviour. He then proceeded to fill the radio airwaves with expletives for the rest of the race. It was great! It was interesting, unpredictable and showed the punters exactly how much he wanted to win. Schumacher rarely showed that kind of emotion and the sport was the poorer for it. Every once in a while its nice see that race car drivers are human too.

Still, good luck to Schumacher in his retirement. Hopefully he’ll volunteer to do a Top Gear hot lap, I’d like to see that!

Straying off the topic

2006-10-23T10:06:00.000+10:00

It turns out Mike Brady is actually right! Footy does win hands down. And now that the season is finally over and the players have fled to Las Vegas and Phuket I have found myself with something of a gap in my life. There were so many empty hours in my weekend that I even the Gilmore Girls on DVD and actually turned the television over to Sky racing (bad commentary incarnate) in the hope of finding something interesting to watch. It comes as little surprise that Rory and Lorelai are still more interesting than Race 5 at Eagle Farm. Not even watching John Kosmina throttling Kevin Muscat could rouse me from my malaise. It's all so…not football.

So I think I’m going to have to start writing about something else for a bit. And not wanting to stray too far from what I know and love, I think it’s going to have to be food. So, if there are no objections I bring you:

Recipe #1 – Tofudabeast

This has become a weeknight favourite of mine as it requires virtually no forward planning, is pretty cheap, and because you can buy a couple of packets of tofu and they will live for a couple of weeks in the back of the fridge. Unlike the fish I bought the other week and forgot about.

Salt and Pepper Tofu

1 packet Firm tofu
Cornflour
Salt
Ground white pepper
Chinese 5 spice
Vegetable oil, perhaps with a squirt of sesame oil if you feel like it.

Combine enough cornflour to coat the tofu, with some* salt, pepper, and 5 spice.

Drain the tofu and dry off with some paper towel, pressing down on the tofu to squeeze out some of the excess water, then cut into bite size pieces. Keep in mind, the smaller you cut the tofu the more tasty fried bits you get on the outside.

Heat about an inch and half of oil in the bottom of a wok, toss the tofu in the cornflour mix, shake off the excess flour and drop into the hot oil. Fry in small batches, turning the tofu to brown on all sides and then drain on some paper towel.

Serve with some Asian greens (or perhaps some Australian Greens, but definitely not Democrats – far too bitter and there really isn’t enough of them to fill you up) in oyster sauce and some jasmine rice.

* ‘Some’ is an official measurement I will undoubtedly use in any and all recipes. It roughly converts to one ‘I don’t really measure things, so you’ll have to make an educated guess’. It’s usually somewhere between a teaspoon and a tablespoon if you’re going to be a pedant about it.

The V8 Safety Car Series

2006-10-09T14:58:00.000+10:00

I know no one else is even vaguely interested in motor sport, that’s why I spend so many lonely afternoons with only Neil Crompton as my friend, but Bathurst was on yesterday and it was good. So now I’m telling you about it.

After sitting on the couch for the better part of 8 hours I wished I had arranged a driver change of my own, but my patience and dedication (and the brief mid-afternoon nap, I only missed a couple of laps, I swear) was rewarded. Craig Lowndes and Jamie Whincup* won a race where everything went wrong for just about everyone. There a total of 10 safety car periods in the race, which means there are a lot of smashed cars and a lot of bruised drivers getting around today but everyone seems to have got away relatively unscathed.

The good thing about safety car periods, apart from the obvious safety benefits, is that it allows the viewer to take a much needed break from what is otherwise an epic journey on the couch. I did the washing… I’ll tell you about it another time, it was great, there were whites, there were colours…

The safety car also allowed me to regale my younger brother with enthralling tales of oil overflow leaks, drive through penalties, pit lane injuries and importantly for this race, clutch slip. And it gives the wonderful Neil Crompton and the rest of the commentary team the opportunity to teach me stuff about cars I never thought I’d know.

I watch and listen to a lot of sport which means I know a thing or two** about commentating. And I am willing to say here and now, Crompton is the best I have ever heard. (Yes, better than Gerard.)

I’m sure he would be completely useless commentating on anything else, but for V8 Supercars he is fabulous. He pitches his commentary at just the right level to keep the novices informed and the diehards interested. It really is an art. And he is genuinely good mates with the drivers (being an ex-driver himself), which means that there is an easy comradery when he interviews them, particularly while they are driving. He gets the drivers talking in real sentences rather than platitudes and deftly navigates the space between interviewer and friend so that both the TV audience and the drivers are happy. In summary, Neil Crompton is ace and if I could think up a good trophy name I would give him one.

So, what’s next on the sporting calendar?...

* This is the second silliest name in V8 racing. The silliest is Winterbottom.
**Thing 1) Gary Lyon and James Brayshaw should not be allowed in the same room together, Thing 2) understatement is actually an artform.

I Tell A Lie

2006-10-04T13:40:00.000+10:00

I just remembered a personalised number plate I saw that actually made me smile rather than want to key the vehicle.

It was a black jeep with the number plate: BAA BAA.

Cute.

I H8 PRSNL PL8S

2006-10-04T12:01:00.000+10:00

Like my friend Item I enjoy a good irrational hatred and one I have harboured for many a year is personalised number plates.

It is Bathurst week (Go Holden) so a thought a timely reminer might be needed, to just let everyone with a personalised number plate that your are being a dickhead and paying for the privilege.

My hatred began because our neighbour over the back fence has the numberplate ELUSIV. He is probably getting close to 40 years old, still lives with his parents and will be found in the laneway washing said car every single weekend, without fail. He is the least elusive person on the planet.

In all my years I have never seen a personalised numberplate that wasn’t stupid. A view confirmed, yet again, on the drive back from a weekend away when our carload took in the sight of a red Mercedes with the plate BYNSLL. It took us a while, but we figured it out, and quickly came to the conclusion that the guy was a WNKR.

Other stupidity includes:
XPLOZV
HLDNV.8
BIT3ME
DAHERO
PL4YER
SEXYY
LE6END
And you can have a look here to really make your blood boil. People actually make money selling these things! Arrgh.

Conclusion: Personalised number plates are stupid, unfunny and really really sleazy. People who own them are morons.

End rant.

How do you feel about Jason Akermanis?

2006-10-02T13:05:00.000+10:00

Everyone seems to have an opinion of him, but my own oscillates fairly rapidly between detest and respect.

He is an undeniable loudmouth who has managed to offend many in the footballing world (including myself) with ill-considered statements and idiotic football-show behaviour. But he also tells the truth. Never have I seen him give anything except a full and truthful account of himself, his actions and the situation as he sees it. That kind of honesty is such a rarity in public life that I can’t help but admire him. If only more were willing to risk their necks and speak their mind we might not all be in so much trouble.

He was ‘speaking out of turn’ again on The Footy Show on Thursday I gather. According to the Age saying,

'that Simon Black would win the Lions' best and fairest, that former Lions assistant coach Daryn Cresswell had been responsible for leaking stories during the year, not him, and that despite the club being set to lose $1.5 million this year the chief executive had awarded himself a pay rise.'

The western bulldogs media department will certainly have their work cut out for them if he does end up a doggie, and I do think he could be more judicious in providing comment to anyone who asks, but I dearly hope he continues to speak the truth as he sees it and damn the consequences. I kind of hope we all do.

Grand Final Fevers

2006-09-27T13:52:00.000+10:00

I find myself with something of a dilemma. Where shall my allegiance lie for the 2006 Grand Final?

My usual gut decision making practice has failed me and I have been forced to think rationally about it. So I decided to draw up a list of pros and cons…

West Coast Cons

They will gloat FOREVER.
The players are mutants.
They knocked the wonderful deserving doggies out of the finals race.
They have the dumbest player in the universe – Ben Cousins.
The more feral section of my family barrack for them.

Sydney Cons

They play cold and calculating footy – completely unlovable.
Last year’s sympathy support and the South Melbourne 72 year premiership drought love-in are over. This premiership is all about Sydney.
They already won the brownlow.
They won the thing just last year, give someone else a turn.

It turns out neither team had any pros.

And I still can’t decide. If anyone can give me a single good reason to pick one side over the other please let me know. Otherwise I may have to remain an impartial observer.
How boring.

Stupid computers

2006-09-26T15:42:00.000+10:00

I just opened a pdf file to recieve an error message which suggested the document had, and i quote, 'too few operands'.

I had to look it up.

Wah?

Did anyone have as much fun as Travis Johnstone at the Brownlow?

2006-09-26T14:36:00.000+10:00

What Travis Johnstone did while on camera:

1. Wear a white tie, despite the AFL black tie policy
2. Kiss Ben Holland (his date)
3. Scull beer
4. Embarrassing himself on national television.

Check out this photo for proof.

Brownlow

2006-09-21T14:41:00.000+10:00

There is a very funny article in today's Age By Richard Hind on the wonderful absurdity that is Brownlow Night. I would link it, but for some reason my sad old home computer is never quite up to the task. So you'll have to go find it yourself.

Brownlow night is one of the few nights of the year when football fulfils my needs as a sports fan and a woman. And, like most, I have developed a ritual to prepare myself for the event (thankfully in my case it involves absolutely no waxing or tanning.)

First, over the course of Monday I start to get irrationally excited and feel the need to read all of the terrible half-baked journalism available on the who, what, where and wear of those in a attendance.

By 8pm when the red carpet special (gods gift to women to who don’t like blonds eg. me) begins, I can barely contain the anticipation. I love to hate the frocks. Being critical of other people’s fashion choices is one of my greatest joys in life and the Brownlow is a guilt free opportunity to indulge. They get free booze and all night parties, I get to sit at home in my grease stained trackies and criticise their fashion choices. Everyone wins!

Then they actually start to count votes. The Brownlow night is like the whole football season in fast forward, and those great little highlights packages let me relive all the exciting bits without having to watch teams flood or time-waste for half the game. For the rest of the Browlnlow these brief moments of interest will be interspersed with long tedious hours of name after name after name.

Still, once they settle into the counting its time to spot the boozehounds. Checking out each of the tables, place bets on who’s photo will be front and centre of the Herald-Sun the next day (and not because they won the thing). Safe money is usually on Billy Brownless.

By round 16 I will have fallen asleep on the couch. All that monotony is so soothing, it is some of the best sleep I get all year, well at least until the cricket starts! But by round 19 I’ll be awake again as the murmurings of the room instensify when the front-runners get a vote. The end is nigh and the winner is almost decided.

The evening will then come to an end (way past my bedtime) with platitudes about the winner’s coach, team, wife/girlfriend and mum. The winner then goes off to drink too much and then do breakfast radio interviews, while I trundle off to bed to dream of doing it all again next year.

I say, BRING IT!

Top Fun

2006-09-20T14:56:00.000+10:00

I have a confession to make. I LOVE TOP GEAR!

I heard Debbie Enker and Jon Faine talking about it a couple of weeks ago and so I know I’m definitely not alone in my love, but still, I feel the need to shout it from the rooftops. The program is, as they say, grouse.

I don’t drive a car. In fact, I don’t even have a licence. And I get to work by the slowest and most inconvenient form of transport possible (hello Yarra Trams if you’re watching) but I absolutely love to watch those boys making a mess out of cars and bikes and field and roads and tanks and whatever else they can think of.

I love Jeremy Clarkson and his old codger wit, but what I love most of all is The Stig. The reason? Well, this is his web page bio,

‘Some say he urinates 98 RON petrol, and that he can smell corners. No one knows when the Stig was born, or how. But we do know why he was placed upon the Earth. To drive quickly. He has a penchant for prog rock, and rumour has it, likes his eggs sunny side up.’

Need I say more?

If you don’t know what I am talking about then I have two things to say to you,
a) Where have you been?
b) SBS 7:30pm Monday.

Also, if you know if some way I can get my hands on one of those Stig t-shirts I will marry you. (If you want me to. I’m a pretty good cook, but I do get a bit grumpy in the mornings.)

Sports Mania

2006-09-18T12:16:00.000+10:00

The guilt I feel for neglecting to post a single thing lately is tempered by the fact that as far as I know, I’m the only one who reads this blog. But I do have an excuse for my tardiness. I have immersed myself in sport.

First there is the finals. Poor doggies, poor dees, but what were they going to do, both were playing Western Australian mutants. What exactly do they feed them over there to make their coats so shiny?

Then there was the Moto GP. Motor sport is my secret indulgence. Well, not so secret any more. Those boys are so strange, they are meant to be these super duper motor heads but instead they are like little jockeys with even sillier clothes. Valentino’s run of greatness continues down at Phillip Island.

And last night I tried to go see Melbourne Victory play. Not that I could get in, the place was sold out and as we walked despondently away from the stadium, hordes of people continued to stream towards it. Victory now has the very happy problem of not having a stadium big enough for its crowd. In the long term they need to find a new home or they will find themselves missing out on some lovely revenue. Telstra Dome is looking pretty empty right about now. In the short term though, they could get rid of the $45 premium tickets. I’m sorry you are a mug if you pay that much money to see 90 minutes of regular season football.

And the festival of sporting goodness continues. Still to come is more footy finals, Bathurst, and hopefully one day, a seat a Melbourne Victory game. Ooh, and then there is cricket soon…

Places of Pain and Shame

2006-09-07T12:42:00.000+10:00

I spent yesterday in a very long but equally interesting seminar on the heritage of ‘places of pain and shame’. There is book of case studies to be published next year and the seminar was a chance for the authors to test their ideas out on each other and anyone else interested in listening.

It is one of the most challenging areas of heritage practice and heritage theory. What do we do with sites of pain and shame? and how do we do it? How do we we satisfy the needs of both global and local audiences and respect the memory of those who have dies at these sites?

Two examples are Auschwitz-Birkenau in Poland and Toul Sleng in Cambodia, these are sites of death, mass murder and torture, and they are also two of the biggest tourist attractions in their respective countries.

These sites are retained for people to see them. To remember. But reconciling that with the busload of tourists who stream through the gates is difficult. The prisoner reception building at Auschwitz is now the visitor reception centre complete with ticket book, kiosk and toilets centre. Is that respecting the memories of the people whose lives were decided in that place? Or doesn’t it matter as long as the people who visit Auchwitz-Birkenau leave with a better understanding of what happened there?

And what of the people who live on the boundary of Auschwitz? The local community who have to live out their daily lives under the scrutiny of the international community, ready to judge new development as disrespectful, no matter how necessary to the town’s survival. Or the squatters on the grounds of Toul Sleng, who have no money, no land, no place to live and no way out of a devastating poverty cycle and now find themselves living on the grounds where many, many people were imprisoned and killed.

I don’t know what the answers to these questions are, but I do know that in spite of the challenges of presenting these sites to the masses, of the desire to forget or move on, retaining these sites is essential for reminding all people how easily violence on this scale can take place and how easily the world can turn a blind eye to it.

Good News

2006-09-05T16:32:00.000+10:00

While doing some research into successful projects encouraging Indigenous students into education I encountered this outrageously popular program over in WA.

The Clontarf Foundation began as a football academy at Clontarf Aboriginal School set up Gerard Neesham to give boys the motivation and self belief to go to, and stay at, school. The academy was so successful at Clontarf it has now been expanded to 6 other locations and will probably grow to 11 by 2008. It began with just 25 kids in 2000 and now the academies have a combined enrolment of 400.

The success of this program absolutely astounds me. All I hear from the media is the bad and the hopeless, but here is an example of a project that works with an idea so simple it can continue to expand and develop in the future.

I’d like to see more of the successful programs like this one being reported and supported by the media, and I’d like to hope this kind of success can be replicated in other non-football programs as well.

...and so it begins/ends

2006-09-04T17:04:00.000+10:00

My darling football team, which perhaps did not finish the season on the strongest possible note will now face off against my friend Helen’s football team on Friday night.

I fear we will have to tiptoe around each other for the next week (and probably the week after depending on who wins).

I hate/love finals. It is so very stressful.

Tickets turn to Ashes

2006-08-31T11:28:00.000+10:00

Good on Cricket Australia for trying to stop scalpers. I applaud their moves to stop scalpers from preventing ordinary cricket fans buying tickets to see the match, and I think it will stop scalpers getting such good mark-ups on their tickets in future.

But, I don’t applaud this: "CA will not disclose which seats have been targeted meaning that fans who obtained tickets on eBay will not know if theirs is valid until they arrive at the turnstiles." The Age.

So here’s the scenario, like many thousands of people you missed out on Ashes tickets (because the scalpers got in first) and so you had to resort to getting them on eBay. You are now going to punished three different ways,

1) you will have paid well over the ticket price to get in,
2) when you get to the ground you find you dont get to see the cricket at all,
3) you are publicly shamed when the little light goes red instead of green. Just because you wanted to go to the cricket.

If it is true that CA feels "It is very important to us that normal fans have access to tickets at the prices we set. Otherwise we are at risk of losing our connection to the people," Then they should allow those people who have bought the cancelled tickets the opportunity to present them before the game and to buy a new valid ticket at the gate price from CA. After all it is the normal fans that are forced to buy the tickets from scalpers in the first place.

And then they should impose a maximum number of tickets that can be purchased by one individual. Lets say 4 tickets per person. That will end professional scalping for good.

Democratic process?

2006-08-31T10:56:00.000+10:00

Thursday is the day I pretend I am going to work from home. So I stay in bed too long and listen to talkback radio until I’m so angry I have to get up. Then I work from home.

This morning Jon Faine was talking about the recent right-to-life campaign against Steve Bracks and Rob Hulls, which has consisted of a massive flyer drop of a letter and graphic drawings of partial birth abortion. The letter suggests that Steve Bracks wants to sneak into the homes of all pregnant women and kill their babies while they are sleeping, or something to that effect.

Anyway, Faine went particularly hard at a woman from the ALP women’s lobby this morning when she suggested that while she advocated removing abortion from the crimes act (what this debate is actually about) she did not have alternative legislation to present. He suggested that she was either naive or ignorant or both for proposing the change without having a ironclad legislative alternative. Which is just plain silly. Plenty of lobbyists advocate change without coming up with the laws themselves, because that’s what the government are for. Perhaps I am missing something but I always thought it (democracy) went like this, the public vote in politicians to represent their views and enact laws which best reflects those views.

NOT public changes mind on important issue, writes up whole new load of legislation and consults with itself, before handing everything ready to go to the politicians (who spent the morning having high tea at the Windsor one presumes). Am I wrong?

A-League of their own

2006-08-28T12:53:00.000+10:00

As is often the case on Friday night I drink too much, and too quickly. This Friday past this behaviour resulted in a long, vocal and ill-advised argument about the threat, or lack thereof, that soccer poses to the glorious game of AFL. This has got me thinking – now slightly more rationally than on Friday night.

Its important to disclose that have long been a fan of the round ball game, and will admit to standing* more than once in the outer at Bob Jane Stadium in the torrential summer rain or scorching heat watching the boys of the blue and white flog their guts out. Yes that right, I am South Melbourne Hellas Supporter. It is also important to note that the greatest years of my obsession were the most successful years in the club’s long history. We won two grand finals, took part in another and frequently found itself near or at the top of the table. South Melbourne Supporters expected results.

I feel that this gives me at least a little authority with which to say, The football SUCKED. It was bad, defensive, boring to watch and the structure of the competition was dissatisfying to both players and supporters. But what else can be expected of players who train twice a week and spent the rest of their time behind the counter at the local servo? The clubs frequently lost money and the only publicity the league ever got was when the mounted police were called in to stop a riot or there was particularly spectacular flare thrown against the night sky (news is all about the pictures after all). For god sake, patrons were not allowed to keep the cap of the soft drink bottle they bought just in case they then used it as a missile!

So, it is with a healthy amount of scepticism that I approach the A-league. I will concede that many of the worst problems encountered by the old competition have be solved. For instance the clubs and competition now have money. They have a healthy, wealthy backer with lots of rich friends who are now willing to clubs’ calls. The TV deal and the sponsorship packages the NSL only dreamt about are now a reality.

Their web pages are flashy and attendances** are way up. Undoubtedly the game is a much healthier package. But is the soccer any better?

A quick survey of the team list finds that many of the old NSL coodabeens are still running around, and now they are backed up by washed up old international players coming trying to eek another years salary out of the game. And then there is the ridiculous media exercise of the ‘trio from rio’. So how much has really changed on the park? Is the football good?

I am willing to reserve judgement on the skill level of the games until I have seen more, but I fail to see how this competition can come close to the heights of footballing skill that supporters came to expect over the course of the World Cup. Until it does that, how can it possibly challenge AFL as the ntional game?

*As there was no seating yet installed
**at the first round of the season attendances were:
NZ 7,000
VIC 15,000
SYD, 19,000
PERTH 20,000

more than a little disturbed

2006-08-22T16:45:00.000+10:00

For Christmas last year (yes I know that was a while ago now) my lovely significant other gave me a book called Do Not Disturb: Is the Media Failing Australia, a compilation of a series of essays by famous and interesting journalism and academic types. ‘What a romantic gift!’ I hear you say. Well, it gets worse, his mother gave him a copy for Christmas as well.

Sorry, I digress. I finally picked up this book this morning for the tram ride to work and found it an unpleasant but worthwhile read. While I have only read the first piece by Eric Beecher I confess to finding it a very enlightening read, not so much because it is saying something I didn’t already know about media, but because it is drawing connections between problems I had otherwise thought of as separate. Suffice to say I am finding it all very interesting in light of the bits and pieces coming out of the Australian and New Zealand School of Government’s Media and Government dinner that was held last night.

Crikey never seem to stop banging on about the media ownership laws, and while I always agreed with them in principle, I now know the laws are only going mean more of the same or worse from the media outlets in Australia. I dont know what the answer is, but I would like one if anyone has any suggestions?

Its all a question of narratives and themes

2006-08-21T12:45:00.000+10:00

John Hirst has an illuminating article in The Age today, describing what he sees as the outcome of last week’s much discussed history forum.

The most interesting section is when he describes that ‘in teaching, the place to begin is with the questions; the narrative is the end; not the beginning.’ So, the forum decided that history teaching will now revolve around asking and answering important historical questions. And Hirst gives us some examples,

How did a convict society change into a free society?
What were the relations between Aborigines and settlers?
Why did Australia become so prosperous?
What were the relations between men and women?
What were the plans and dreams for Australian society?

As far as I can tell these are what are usually called ‘themes’ in the study of history. I should know, I’ve studied quite a few of them myself. But as I understand it the Prime Minister does not like ‘themes’ but he does like‘ narratives’. So we shall call them narratives from now on.

Everyone else happy to agree to that? I am.

As easy as ABC

2006-08-17T15:34:00.000+10:00

It appears that sheer bloody mindedness (and a hefty whack of cash) will mean that the ABC will most definitely have a decent share of the radio broadcasting pie when the new deals with the AFL are ironed out.

I love Gerard Whateley! Perhaps a little more than a grown woman with a perfectly lovely boyfriend should. But he’s just so absolutely wonderful and knowledgeable and is able to humour just about anyone including Red Symonds and wasn’t he cute when he began a little baby reporter on Channel 10, and then hit the big time doing the tips on Beyond the Boundary (kiddy football show in Saturday afternoon - you’ll be pleased to know the tipping section is now done by a dog). And earlier this year he said very clever things about the sham that was this years Tour de France on Offsiders on Sunday mornings and then didn’t even gloat about it when he was right. And he’s cute too, in a retired jockey kind of way. Sorry I digress…

Gerard and the rest of the team have waged a wonderfully successful campaign (with the support of the always enthusiastic ABC radio listeners), and have made it abundantly clear the AFL that they were being stupid to give the ABC the scrapings of the bottom of the broadcasting barrel. I particularly like the fact that the ABC have started podcasting the last quarters of the best grand finals for the last 30 years, just to illustrate to the AFL what they would be giving up. But the coup de grace was getting the listeners of Saturday football to call and sms in to tell them were they were listening from, showing the AFL they’d be mugs to give up the kind of coverage the ABC can offer them.

So, Yay to the ABC for showing the AFL that’s its not always about money and for making sure that I don’t have to listen to the knobs in 3AW and Triple M to get my football fix. Oh, and a special hello to Gerard too.

Stick damn mud, stick.

2006-08-15T16:33:00.000+10:00

Robert Walls is unpleasant. I don’t like the way he commentates and I don’t like the way he writes. Without trying to sound like a Sydney club official (I think the commentators are right, Sydney do play ugly football, particularly when they are beating my team on the weekend), his commentary is always negative and it isn’t nice to listen to. It seems to me the commentary of someone who would rather be doing than talking about it.

His recent article on the Geelong football club certainly doesn’t pull any punches, and what he says about their playing is largely true. To the outside world the players do need a good kick up the caboose.

His article is one of many in recent to carve up the cats in the last few weeks, and I for one would appreciate it if all of them would confine their commentary to the football at hand. I have a couple of friends with a serious love of the cattars and I must admit their love is infectious. This makes it very hard to watch as commentator after washed-up-ex-footballing-hack, writes really soul destroying things about them. The criticism of play I can handle, it’s the thinly veiled innuendo about the coach that I will not.

I don’t think there is a single AFL fan left in Melbourne that hasn’t heard the rumours, but there is a reason why they are still only that. No newspaper has got enough evidence to prove anything, and until they do Bomber gets reasonable doubt just like everyone else (David Hicks excluded, obviously). I don’t want to hear how he’s ‘going through hell’ or ‘lost a lot of weight in the off season’, it is deeply unfair and is clearly now damaging the club. Stop it. End of subject.

Ready arms

2006-08-15T11:10:00.000+10:00

It appears that the history war is hotting up…again.

I consider myself a historian, not because I have a swag of books to my name, but because by both accident and design that’s the way my brain works. I love history and I think that if you teach it with passion and engagement you can encourage that passion and engagement in your student, but I know that is far from easy.

As the Howard government calls together a history summit this week, I would like to add my significantly smaller voice to that of Stuart Macintyre, and say that I like nothing more than to see history teaching and learning on the national agenda. But, I shall wait with baited breath to hear the results of this summit. With only 3 school teachers invited it is clear that school teaching is not the real agenda. The Howard government needs a win this week, and I can’t help but think that they might fall back on that favourite old ditty, national identity.

We shall see.

Shooting off at the mouth

2006-08-08T09:15:00.000+10:00

I am sick of people in the public eye saying something they really shouldn’t, like say our friend Mel, and then denying they think that way at all in an apology press release.

Dean Jones has just been sacked for calling a muslim South African cricket player a terrorist on air, and then in his press release said this…

"Everyone needs to get away from perpetuating the myth, publicly and privately, that beards associated with the Muslim faith are somehow suspicious, and I intend to do exactly that."

"It does not represent who I am, how I think or what I believe."

That is quite clearly just not true. The reality is neither Mel nor Dean would have said the things they did if they didn’t think them. It does nothing to advance the causes of social and religious harmony when those who hold prejudice just deny it, get drunk (or into a commentary box) and say offensive things, and then deny it again.

Perhaps by discussing prejudice, rather than denying it we might go some way to actually solving it. But not while a lie in a press release is all that is required to sweep the matter under the carpet.

The ubiquitous incident

2006-08-02T13:57:00.000+10:00

Nothing gets under my goat* like the news of footballers making arses of themselves and causing physical harm to others in the wee hours of the morning when they should be tucked in bed at home dreaming of grand finals. More clinical study needs to be done into the effects of increased levels of testosterone, adrenaline and stupidity in the body, but anecdotal evidence suggests this is the outcome.

However, despite often getting on my high horse about footballers and abuse on a regular basis I did find myself rather amused by this excerpt from a news article on the misdeeds of NRL player Bruno Cullen,

"Seymour is alleged to have headbutted a woman while trying to kiss her on the dance floor at the Regatta Hotel at Toowong in Brisbane's inner-west early on Monday morning."

Ha, ha, ha.

I mean, poor woman I hope she is alright.

Ha, ha, ha…

*(a)Expression of inarticulateness dreamed up by my significant other and some of his former housemates, spread it around, see if anyone notices anything odd.
(b)A misuse of the English language particularly relevant to a discussion of footballers.

Ask a Ninja

2006-07-24T13:40:00.000+10:00

Dont ask me questions, just go there. Now.

What’s in a name?

2006-07-23T12:57:00.000+10:00

Ever since seeing that horrendous Robert Redford movie about TV journalism with Michelle Pfeiffer playing ‘Tally Atwater’ I have been increasingly amused by the names of Australia’s television journalists and anchors.

A list of my favourites include:

Mignon Henne (as in Filet Mignon, juvenile humour I know but it makes me laugh. There was also a highly amusing incident involving her finger getting bitten by a horse during a live broadcast. Classic television.)

Harry Potter (I find it very difficult to take a journalist seriously when I can only imagine him donning an invisible cloak.)
And my very favourite:

Leith Mulligan (Say it out loud. It makes me giggle. I can’t fully explain why.)

Further suggestions very welcome.

Brutally Confused

2006-07-17T15:47:00.000+10:00

Heritage Victoria has listed the Harold Holt Swimming Pool and despite a genuine interest in heritage preservation I cannot really get worked up about it. As every news article in the last two days has suggested, it was highly amusing that it was named after a Prime Minister thought drowned off Point Nepean but aside from that I had no personal attachment to it and couldn't really care if it was preserved or not.

What I can get worked up about is the fact that the heritage profession continues to make the same media blunders and continually misunderstand their own reasons for giving something heritage protection. I heard a Heritage Victoria representative on the radio defending the decision to put it on the register on the grounds of its brutalist architecture. Now that's all well and good, but when Jon Faine began to argue it was still too ugly to be preserved she began to argue that the pool was significant as a recreational place for many people. Which is it?

Something can be heritage listed on the basis of its architectural significance or its social significance, but if it has been listed purely for its architectural significance (as the media reports suggest) then you cannot use its social significance to justify it.

Often the reasons for heritage listing are slippery ones, based more upon emotion than hard facts and the result is a convoluted mixture of architectural, social and historical significance that ends up sounding more like Dennis Denuto's 'It's the vibe of the thing' than it does a logical justification for heritage listing.

Wondering how badly confused that justification can get? Check out the Statement of Significance for Waverley Park...

LORD BYRON

2006-07-14T13:21:00.000+10:00

For all the things I once said about you Byron Pickett, I unreservedly apologise.

AFL WORLD OF ADVERTISING

2006-07-14T12:38:00.000+10:00

I figured I might as well begin this little sojourn into the wonderful world of the electric internet with a confession. I have been to AFL World.

During a lunch break this week an equally footballing tragic friend of mine and I made the trek and paid over the hefty attendance fee to be perhaps unsurprisingly disappointed.

I’m not really sure if you call it a museum, an entertainment centre or as their advertising suggests a ‘sensation’ but no amount of Naomi Klein-style homework could prepare me for the bombardment of advertising and product placement that awaited me on the other side of the lift doors.

The exhibition was inseparable from its advertising and the only section to be sans-advertising was the woefully inadequate Hall of Fame, which had bee clearly neglected because it could not provide an advertising windfall. AFL World is less a ‘sensation’ and more a sponsor’s dream.

The place isn’t all bad I guess, as long as you took a smaller football-loving relative along (I recommend someone around hip height) you could probably have a fairly good time. Just be prepared for the inevitable questions… Can I have a coke? Why can’t I have an xbox? Can we watch channel 9 tonight? Why don’t we listen to triple M?